The Journal of Provincial Thought
jptArchives Issue 18
lildiamond1-Iss18-Asse On Throne Ch4luminancediamond2_18Asse On Throne Ch4 Pigasus- Cogito ergo nix iss18- c2007 Schafer-Asse On Throne Ch4
from private reserve copyright 1978-2010
Book 19: An Asse Upon the Throne of Olde
1. Presume'd Lust of the Stonechewer.........pp. 1-2
2. Shek's Pity ....................................................p. 2
3. Cauldron of Emotien.................................pp. 3-4
4. The Opionic Interventien..........................pp. 4-6
5. Shek's Pity................................................pp. 6-7
6. The Tidywoman Stomach'd by Fairo........pp. 7-8
Indectic ......................................................pp. 9-10
spacer Asse Ch4
Indicates Ch 4 Asse Upon Throne
The Opionic Interventien
ame thither then Opionomis the King’s Yeasayer, Sayer of Yea, who was a real mixmincer in affairs.  And Opionomis with eyes seeth the dragging from a material
distance in the great hall, and becometh gorge’d with instant grief, thinking, Woe, lo, O, a robber hath slain the King of the Rock, and draggeth him e’en now away for the extra pleasure of cartage & disposal.  Thinqeth he (thoght Opie) that we wud notte soon miss a missing King o’ th’ Rock?  Robbers in these days!  Their aggregot wisdem cudst thou stow ’longsides the meat in a mustardseed!  Neither be they half the robber that I were; for I were thrice their robber, in my recent prime as one.

            And Opionomis loos-ed five arrows, which went them forth and enterd into the head of the actuel King, inasmuch as ’twas en facte His Majesty which doth some carcassdragging, and not a robbier.  And the actuel King, having death arrows five all in his head, lapst down his man and pitcht flat beside him upon the tiles, days and madness ended.

            And Opio Yaysay clos-ed upon, wary lest some accomplice robbiners present & take him.  But there were none, today.  And he gaind up on the smitten pair, and his eyes they platterd, and he gasp-ed, discovring there his errer in pricking his own true Kingghue, that very bearded Majestie of Astrobaster Rock, which from a remove he hath thoght a robbor worth

An Asse Upon the Throne of Olde- p5 5

pricking, whose head therefore he hath fillt with sticks, and whom he hath thus killt down upon the floor.  O! saith he, The King of the Rock liveth notte any more, to attempt dance or song, nor to go out with his liquor’d parties for to pitch an few shoes.  [For the King, he had from Horseland brought unto the Rock that clangolanging gaim of horses’-shoes-&-pitstobbs, and playn it ever much had he.]

            Clangg! goeth the gaim.  & tinkk! & poff! & clangg! & pfff!  And among its partie of players are heard the speakmeats of sporte: 
            Thou bastrid that cheateth!
            I cheats but hell & thee!
            Measure, measure!
            Measure thou this!

clangolanging gaim of horses'-shoes & pitstobbs

            This were notte my work, no, saith Opionomus.  Nor were’t the work of any other bouncing tiger of my present gauge of mettle, mature’d in duty, well-compenst & trusty.  No.  This here, the shape of this as viewn through intelleck, were the wage of Ugliness allowd to festre in the land—Ugliness that now hath raisd up and choke’t off such Beauty as we knew.  And he stoopt above the disstract, and place-ed he his wickid bow, wickid & damned, into the chill still hand of the neck-smitten one which hath teeth of ruins.  And he sweated, and he made for him self cool assurances, saying, The wise men, they are wise enogh to deduce with a deducing and to pronounce Mutuel Annihilatien.  Lo (will they say): our King hath smit this teethless one with an necke, for some neckworthy incursion; but ere the smitten villain succumbd, loost he him self five arrows, which did shoot the King plumb through.  And they will say, So!  Right!  Itte must be so!  For if an the necksmit rogue smote first, how then cud our Kinggwheue do any smiting with a neck, he having muldiple arrows in his head to skewer his thinking?

            [But & but, time wud divulge that no wise man were such much wise as to elaborate any elaberate specolatiens.  For the wise order hat no specolative well from the which to draw, they being hard engage’d & expended with all the tumult of peopel in voracious want.  And the wise tongues ran to desperatien in gating out a flow of wisdom to be swallerd up in the vast basin of eternol pervasive ignorence.  Not a wise man but by day’s end feeld draind of all he ever knewn & surmise-ed; and ’twere backe to the syclopediae with him by night for to plenish the stuffe suckt gone in the void.  Verily ’twas said, Out there wait the unquenchable morass:  the grope bogies, the nullahoos & the muckbuggers, the thought paupers & the poopgroupers & the spitspawn of the spitty micks & mollies.  And the name of them all is Swill-willy.]

            Now by & by came there a strange woman, which was known to be strange, for to make tidy aroundabout the throne and to fresh its seat with minty twigs, who stumb’d upon the carcasses that there upon the tiles lay pitcht.  And up from outen her came an wail toting notes of devastatien through her soul, like unto the final whine of a steam contrapshion.  And courtiers raind in upon the scene, and gave on concerning the utterness of their shocke.  And one did wax profound before them, and went upon his knees, and spake with a drawn visage, saying,

6 The Book of Wine & Seizures

Blackness, blackness, we are gulpt.  And bright tapes of investogative demarcatien were stringed all through the halls and about the columns, and depictive chalkings were laid down upon the tiles, and dunces at hand were collard and slappt & grilld.  There was much to be brought to light (so aver-ed staunch authoroties).

strange woman, which was known to be strange

            And a wise man or two went they by for to offisiate & turn opinion into policy.  And the tidywoman took them by the ellbows and said unto them, ’Twere Mutual Annihilatien.  I have seen it before, in prior administrasiens.  And they taken her word, and went asigning papers and making certifaxien, and into the Record of Rule went these.

            And the Astrobaster Gazette proclaimeth, Mutualis Annihilatum: Dark Deal Soureth at Throne; King and Poppy Lord Perish.  And there were some drawings, and weighings-in by knowing nodders & elucidaters, and surveyal of reaxiens in the streets, and the most bunches of damns lies e’er tolt, in the account.  That gazette!  It saith also that the necksmitten poppylord—the whom it callen Darklove—hath dispatcht flittyninjas through the Devil’s Icebox and shatterd the Oracol, for to throw fear upon His Majestie Astrobastre; for Darklove trucketh in terrer no less than in his agronommicus recreatem addictis.  Well.  The Yeasayer Opionomis taketh no pleasure to see these journalisms, for they bringen down a feverd scrutiny that he needeth not atall.  For his name which was Opionomis were name-ed him by an actuel poppiemonger, concerning his sinister agency in opium from Psiam.  And Opie receded unto shadows and shutted him self down for a season, that scrutinies subside and slanders blow past.

            And in time, the abacus of talk made the five arrows into an hundreds and twenty; and the chicken’s neck became the neck of a rhin-ed nocerous.

grape leaves Ch 4 Asse Upon Throne

pointer back to Ch 3 Asse Upon ThroneOne chapter back Re-cuepointer to top Ch 4 Asse Upon Throne Ch. 4 Further thrills pointer to Ch 5 Asse Upon Throne
jptARCHIVE Issue 18
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