ow upon Infestros—this being the name I have bestewn unto this termitic plank of found mushboard (an wood consume’d of the termytes, & beweevild, & wormdrillt,

            Then upon the carvingplank Infestros inscribe I, Lucastrus the Mung, Envisioner of Ripe Thighs and Votary to the Holy Joke (being titles which adher-ed upon me in the tavern callt YE HOLY JOKE), and Unworthy Votary to the Holy Yoke (being title supercedent when that the Edicts of Cleaning did transmogrofix our tavern, becoming it SWEET EMBRACES: A TEMPLE OF THE HOLY YOKE)—I being callt also by my woman Sad Catch, and by bill of indictment Fellemellerin the Poxrobber, as I number among the numbre which went arobbing when that the pox laid upon Nader, pox so vitiating that lush city’s protexiens that good men brake neath the urge to go down and rob her.  (Neither wot I whence came Fellemellerin that they unto the Poxrobber did cojoin; the Divisien of Indictoments alway proceedeth in confusian.)  Yet with the spoils came too the pox on those that jaunted down; and I say unto thee, that were last among my needs!  But, I am substantial recover’t.    

            Now as I was arobbing out in Nader, accumulating historica (my passien)—having laden my burro at ARTSIFACT SHACK, and having been pursued by dogs at RELIC REALM, and now arobbing down at MORNING'S FALSE LIGHT:  HOME OF HISTRY—through the rackstacks I seen an old curator playing peeks-&-boos with me, and awinkerdinkling with a certain grand parchment, as in making to obscure it amongst a mess of institutionel debits & duns in the commerse hopper.  And I says Ho, now here I have me something, yon scroll in play—hap an early inking of Venus, Gown Down—something swanke, a catch, a purseright take-on.  And I trackt him down in the dust, and took him, and says, Give me that.

            And in him terrer & reason sped together; for seeing in mine eyes life and something more, he went with the wisdem of his years, saying, Here, then, take the thing.  And he desire-ed also to say me, Cease from mayham; But that he did not say.

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            And I reach-ed into the commerse hopper and snatcht the scrolle, and rippt away its majestic seals, and thray it ope.  But behold, neither greetend mine eyes the gowndown goddiss radiant & raw, gnay, nor none other epiphanol visien par depictii illustrati inkh, but there in stead the First Legend of the World enscriben all in the combobulous grammars of mystic lingos, and also some scrollbugs.  And I seen the curater clench & bare his teeth, that I shud with my robber’s eyes be viewing upon the Prime Legend.  Therefore in his sight opend I mine eyes e’en larger upon’t, for more seeing.  And I swabbd the spittle of zeal from my cheek and said, This were prettie goode, this Legend here; but this meaneth that I needs must become a Scholar, now, to read this.  Zound!  I sortied hither but to make filch, sad cracker I am; yea what?—runn-ed right upon a call to academie.

            For when that the gods land Legend in thy lapf, what dost thou?  Marry, thou masterest it, for ’tis unto thee of the gods, who do want that they want and do arrange that they arrange, and make merder upon him that swingeth another way.  Might not some future friar take his enlightenment upon this history’s Legend that today thou masterest and passest on?  Might not he rise upon the earth, and this stuff be his base?  ’Tis august avocatien to take it up in mystry and render it unto terms recognise’d in today’s studious eye.  Some coming friar hath waiting a career in the Histry chase.  ’Tis a gift worth giving him, such coreer, from a devoted scribingman of nowtimes unto the greatfriar of ’omorrow:  so saith even the gentle spirit seduce’t into robbery by the pox.

            More over, the gods which we adore are adamant in their gaze, fixt in their game, twisted tight in their will, hammers poisd, for to have the Legend propagatend.  What may I against such excitements as they conduct?  They have snare-ed me in my greed, and have seen me seeing this docoment that I thoght privately convertibol, and so have burdend me with duty.  To hate the gods will work me no release, tho it serve mine entertainoment.

            Therefore rode I over to Universidy and paid a tuisien of molybdenum, and from the jolly provost took my Certifigot of Adequates that same morn, as those registrarians rush-ed me through alongsides an thousands other seeklins aquesting after competence.  Few indeed were there among us who cud muster the moly for high title, those rich ayearning to be reckond more.  The most of us, we were certifacted Adequate to be scholars, & poets, & gazateers, & shamans, & bailiffs, & soothsayers, & physiciens, and buzzardcursers, and donkey conkers & whattenotte.  But there strode also those monied striders taking grander certifaxien, nor as Adequates, but as Moguls, & Celebradies, & Overcitisens, & Thoght Commanders, & Victimizers, and Power’d Establishers.  And the muchmost riche, who fetcht o’er to the registrarians trains of treasures, they matterd most, as like as did their certifigae:  the Certiffe of Luminosity in a World of Fools; the Governer’s Bunche; Solomon’s Cock, crowing of cosmic wisdems, and being that same certifigot which were callt the Solly; the Bell of Hell, that certifigot which authorizeth its receivant to waken sleeping evil whensoever evil were the answer to concerns; Bull-of-the-Walks, which were self-explaint; and such other as the provost or the monied applicant feeld were appropriot.

            Piff; who needen such much ostentatiery as all that?  As well to come rattling gourds before a man’s face and crying, View me, and know of my purse!  Verily, those kept aloof in self-fascinatien, those riche & cold, lifes lacking of the grip & grapple of the sweltring common lot