4.
Recapture of Priorities 

nd Ellemon Righthorn Slondregonk caus-ed biscuits to be sent unto his buzzardcurser, and a winner’s wooden wearing-ring whereupon rideth a saying.  And the saying

            Now, the dinkie ringdealing of Ellemon, wherein for to spare a cost he hath commishen’d but a single ring bearing the names of both possibol prevailents—the one to be strike’t out per defeat and the one to be encircumscriben per winison—hath workt a mess & a mutilasien upon the enscriptory of the ring, and hath wrung wry faces upon Ellemon’s undercircle of right guys and upon Omazimpsin the Wise.  For they said, ’Tis not a thing that any lurdan might pride to show his wench, this wretched wooden hiding-ring, nor that any father might treasure upon his heirs.  It appeareth in stead like unto a jot of junque from the pauper’s stall, and not a gift from any king; what man will see it and believe?  ’Tis just a thing that will get him killd in a tavern, our Nastunhoocus a-brawling o’er the honour of His Majesty, this king that will be said to grace his grand doers with gifts pulld outen the trash.

8

            But Ellemon Slondregonk heard the murmurs and seen the faces; and he said unto them, Cease from’t, and put away your wrywrung faces.  This practice suiteth me, and it shall suit him, as it shall suit the tavernsotties fortuned enogh to encounter o’er wine their King’s ring-ed man.  Beside, also sent I biscuits.  Did not I send some biscuits?

            And they answerd and said, Yea, Sire, biskits, fetcht down outen the missile silo, wherein our defunct hurler troopf pile-ed their projectils in olden day.  So battleworthy are these bisqets bake’t by the old combat bakers that upon them e’en the rats have brake their mouths.  Excellent selexien they are, these pellets, for the relic shelf or bower wall of a sentomentol warrior like unto Nastunhoocus.  Nastunhoocus, he will enjoye to heft them, & to test the sharpness of their zing against the rocky noggins of today’s target urchins.  He in gazing upon them will sink in dreamy reveries, picturing them hot at war in bygone times.  He to Thee will truck a load of thanks for these historic biscits, sure.

            And Ellemon shew upon them a face contortnd of vexatien.  And he said unto them, What say ye of hurling, and sharpfness of zing against noggins, and combat bakers, and bower walls, and biscuits at war?  ’Twas mine intent & inspirasien that he be sent succulents for eating, and notte relics for throwing.  What manner of weird hell hath move’d here?

            And the undercircle of right guys were mattre-of-facte in facing onto these late elaborasiens.  And the Minister of Strife profferd suggestien, saying,  Ere he try them, have him to take & boil those bizqits, lest he break his mouth.  Hap he take the King’s view that bread is for but eating.  Hap the gods glare down and say, What is this that men to bread have done?  In limitless perversity men enweaponise the stuffe of sustenance that we gave, in which we shew our love, and turn it to abominasian.  Naaa!  —Hap this the gods do say.

            And the weepers came with flowers for to arrange amongst the four littel pagoda sepulchrae that dangld on their stalks aroundabout the extant head of the King.  And Ellemon made brief eulogies as had become his custom, and ush-ed away his undercircle and their cares, that he shud have clean air & solitude.  And he gatherd upon his back his throne, and commenst to lay out in his mind a sequense of vectors along the which to dash, that he might frustorate the regicidal designs of assassins.  Buzzerds & biscuits, saith the King, Were notte the be-all, end-all in this place, as hap in some places they might be.