The Journal of Provincial Thought
jptArchive Issue 19
lilDiamond1-19 SaithTaketh Ch1luminancelil diamond2-19SaithTaketh Ch1 Pigasus19SaithTaketh Ch1
from private reserve copyright 1978-2010
The Book of Wine & Seizures
by WC Smith- Illustrated by Otz

Book 22: A Man Calleth Him Self A Prophet, And Saith And Taketh Things

1. Economie of Righteousness................pp. 1-3
2. Bizniss In An House Of Fools...............pp. 3-5
3. Son Toss..............................................pp. 5-7
4. To Pass It Came...................................pp. 7-8
5. End Accounts.......................................pp. 8-9
Indectic ..................................................pp. 10-11
spacer Ch 1
Arrow Ch 1Ch. 1
A Man Calleth Him Self A Prophet, And Saith And Taketh Things

Now tho this chronicol méander prosaic along a shore of stagnatien, void of context, widouts purpose save for to sequence raw hist’ry for the tablets & dissertatia of ye jolly scholars, ne’ertheless doth it spank of sour moments & futilidies, the which did juice the age with savor.

Custom A
nd it came to pass that in the days of luminous flux across the firmament, of scintillatiens upon the waters and strobic dancing lightflitter in the glades—the days
ere the present sun had learnd her motiens, ere the jostling stars had settld in their grooves—went there a caravan outen Horsie, that place which was fallen to the mystic figs and lurid lady-faced herbs of mad planters.  And Brandiwajjar the Caravanist (kə-ra-vən-ist) saith unto the Horsites, Behold, ye have quitted hovel & yard in its crush of eerie growth, neither affordeth our lost friend the earth any accommodasien, in this clime, for your staking anew.  Come therefore and join into the karovan that I, for meals & entertainoment, lead forth unto the luxuriense of any parradise that hap we run upon. 

            And they gatherd up and went, saying, E’en a place with robbers, and with murderers, and with wicked bakers, even such place well beateth this; for ’tis better to live in common wickedness—a thing we graspe—than among the malignant cropfs of the numinous horticult.  And they upon their camels and their asses, the rich upon their gilded gelded pachydermae, struck off trotting, paving the street behind them with a mélange of dungs.

Brandiwajjar the Caravanist c 1984 Otz

            Now, there was a certain corkerscrewie turn wherein that Brandiwajjar hath beforetimes lost farers, for that the turn were sharply, the path brittle and full of skiddish sands.  An ye ride with Brandiwajjar, know ye, for no reason will he stop twixt campfs, being an hard, hard pusher; if an ye fall by the way are y’gone.  Now, lo.  Came the caravan centrifugating around the corkerscrewie turn; and there flay from line’s end an old man from his beast onto the earth.  And his beast gats a brake neck.  And this old man, his tripf were o’er, as the kairovahn of Brandiwojjer diminisht away from him to a mote of dust on the horizon and was gone; tho from their prespectif they were not gone, being wheresoever they were.

            And as the olt man lay, then came Dhahgedu Of A Mountain to righteous chide and spill beans upon the unrepentant in Baz; for ’twere the manner of the righteous in that day to someways do up the unrepentant in beans, in the which have gods imbu-ed the holy codex of life.  Neither came his usual wife at his side, who lay stricken with ennui classique.  And neither came his usual acolyte Condileonilus Hambo of the Open Node, nor Brulé the acolyte’s wife, nor

2The Book of Wine & Seizures

the acolyte’s wife’s wife Poont.  And behold, Dhahgedu seeth there at the corkerscrewie turne a beast having a brake neck, and seeth also pitcht in the dust the old man all brake and making crazie, and did stop to smite him, and to rebuke him, and to cast out demons.  But the old man saith, Rustle me notte, lest thou pummel loose from me all the beans I bear galore.  For thou and I, sweet robber, we are men who measure the value of a bean.

            And Dhahgedu took the beans of the old man to add unto his own.  For he recall-ed his children, they saying unto him at his departison from outen his mountain lair, Father, hast thou enogh?  And Dhahgedu had answert and said in his pride, Yea, by gods, I do; but saith in his heart, Have I?  But now of destiny laid out by his hybrid gods—they appearing with visages of lions, and hoofs of goats, and priapuses of bulls (priapi bulli), and lobistur pinchers, and canine teats, and wings, & fur, & hair, & feathers, & scales—hath he also the beans of the old man also, whom Dhahgedu reckoneth to need no beans.  And he coverd up that old man with grasses, and resum-ed his pilgrimmy, warbling down the friendily flybirds of the air as he went, down into rock’s range.

Caravan c 1984 Otz

            And Dhahgedu did spill his beans unto the flagitius of Baz, and rolld them in the holy code, and unto them did sell spirits, and also killd he several with the blade in due course.  And he took to a fruitisbox, the same which holden fruits, and went thereupon, and cried down & about with an enhanst voice, saying, Me rameera onawol, which is to say, To ears, to ears, for I pronounce.  And they flock-ed to receive his pronuncical; for those of that day were an involvd peopel.

            And he with one eye close’d stood sizing upf their souls, till in fair terrer they did swoon.  And spake he then of sudden, toppling some of them down of percussis.  And he said unto them, Whither go ye, sapiens?  Aye, for well I know your name.  Have ye gone down before the Lord that o’erseeth this precinct, and sought sanction of your agendae?  And Dhahgedu for some moments let that work, and trackt their perplexis and guilt; for n’er had they taken such action, nor imagind it.  Then he raisen his voice and said again, What numbre of you here today can look into mine eyes, and even tell unto me that which your so-callt agendum mite to be?  (And he shaken his head.)

            Now surely (saith Dhahgeddu), if an ye hand not o’er unto me all your vain & seducive goldstuffs, that so seduce you, and press so vain against the eyes, shall the Lord in her might come and trouble you with distruxion, and with rumours that grate away the ears, and with wiggling warts and flights of mad cats.  

            And he brought forth outen his pouch some warts, and some cats, and cast them upon the throng.  Now, that man knoweth how to ply an assemblage, now.

            And Ogodh the Wottanite arose and cried, saying, Hear him!  For ye all do know, rancid multitudians, that he hath it right, and I so vouch.  Surely, an ye surrendor not up unto him—and to me—your sinful treasures & moneydo & line items, shall the Lorrd be pixt agin you, and hap come offending you with rod & clampf; with a thousandt pain for every gain.  Wud ye such treatment?  Surely ye wud never, that.  Rod & clampp, I say; and I mean, through & about the

A Man Calleth Him Self A Prophet, And Saith And Taketh Things3

HEART!  And Ogodh took the stance of the heroic fistman modified, one hand out, palm up for to receive.

            Then arose Gurch the Monger (mah-zhay), which hath fillt his talkative days with fleshmonging, and hath pull-ed time for that and also for other maldeed’ry against a restrictic sociedy.  Yea, exceeding hath been the extent of the fleshmonging which he hath fleshmong-ed.  And he also hath logg-ed some lesser offendings, the suche as, prancing in alleys, and swinging the glance of scorn upon men of solid vocaish’nol staking, and hiding numerous thoghts, and laying fright on children as by stretchening huge a singol eye.  And Gurch made signage unto the multitude, for that his dried gray tongue were long taken for to dangol upon the sash of a far jailer.  And the signage that he did make were so read:  O hear these two, ye miscreants.  For if an ye endow not your garish stores upon them—and upon me—we say, Surely shall some Lord pull a long face on you, and jump to send down fires, & scabs, & death, & turgid mops of sloppie gossipf from the which no drivulet of clear certainty might e’er be wrung.  Terrabol things all, to drop upon the heads of any crewe; but upon your heads especial, I must suggeste.

            But now all that signreading were neither atall that which Gurch hath express-ed, inasmuch as n’er hath he lernt any authentical mode of signy.  Verily, ’twere but the hauntnd refrain of the loser-seeker that he in his gesticolatiens hath endeaver’t to articolate:  O guileful & empow’ring tongue of my former attachoment, meatmuscle of colloquy and imploment of love, whither art thou sped?  (This were all he meant.)

            Then catching trend, in turn cried every mouth among the multitude, saying, Hear them, hear them—and hear also me!  And with each conjoining cry saw Dhahdegu his portion to proport & fractulate into a lesser & lesser fractulation of total, till lo, by & by was every comer in for shares, with dubius claim upon a paltry pot.

            And Dhahgedu waxt frank in the faraway face of his hybrid multiLord, saying, We are beated aback in this place, Mazzitah [which is to say, Master].  I foresaw not that wholemass recipiency shud set in; nor had Ye proper guidenced me on a possibol claims-amok scennario.  Nonetheless, I yet feel calld to a standing of wealth on earth; think Ye also this of me?  (Say no if an notte.)  Surely there yet be burghs wherein not every one hath seen such muche of propheteering, that he him self hath grewn adept as pretender to the arte.

grape leaves

git down daddy Git down daddy giddown
Ya gotta
gitdown daddy g'down
Yagotta git git git git
Git down daddy giddown
Up there to top again. There! Off ye go then , Ch. 2 to Ch 2
jptArchive Issue 19
Copyright 2011- WJ Schafer & WC Smith - All Rights Reserved