2.

Amazements Pourd Upon the Gatherd

nd they jerken his chain and wakend him with turkey’s whizz.  And he spake straightway, saying, Omorrow shall we look back upon today and confess that we

were ancient, and knew but smidgins of this or that; and so shall our chronicol be written.  And we shall know that ’tis true, as we laud our fine new things, which are good, and lay punt to the coarse old things, which were never good.  And we shall plug at new puzzels, while among the junqs of our children lie the old puzzels all solvd & junkt.  And today’s destroyers & intimidazers, they shall slumpf vanquisht by marvels of innovatien dealt upon them.  And in that day—which is every day—shall we declare our selfs modern.  But lo, on rising again in the morn that follows, then shall we wheel out our chronicle and therein declare anew:

Even whilst enscribing as yesterday we did upon our chronicol, believing our selfs modren, yet were we then also ancient, all our contrary suppositiens of that day notwithstanding.  Well.  All that we were en facte was merely this, one day nearer unto modern than upon the day before.  Tho oft have we thoght our selfs modern, that glory came upon us not until today.

calculum by the which we may project the anciency of future moments.  And forever shall we say, Well, we are ancient again, every day are we ancient; for see these figgers.  And we a milder, modester peopel shall be, aware that our schemes & contentiens must ever pale where they perch, being tripe by anticipation. Or, a madder, meaner people shall we be, aware that our schemes & contentiens must ever pale where they perch, being tripe by anticipation.  (Likily both results; for some men are prone to mildness, others to madness, when that their challengd pride hath collapst & draint away.)

            And the futurist rattld his chain at the magistrate, and said, We our selfs do bear in us a sense of anciency impending, knowing that these things we appear to know will flake away to the wisdmic slaught of new experience.  Yea, they flutter to flake even now, but are kept pasted in place by such flakepasters as these here clamoring before thee and sporting me about like as some prize kipper a-net.  I am no such kipper.  (And the magistrate anserd & said unto him, Neither art thou such prize.)

            And the eggsface of the magistrate eye-ed him.  Years gone, the magistrate hath taken honors for eyeing, over at Varsity.  Gossipf gazetteer Molena Pang hath but recent scriben of him in Mogul (which were her gazette):

            He were maximal cracker among his youthful peers in the day of his scholarly competing at the Varsity of Scool.  For he were a prodigious eyer, so saith hallowd Ibbim Traditius, yon erstwhile eyemaster & prime professer at Scool, now an old man who getteth beatings from his fat young wife.

            Ah but hells; however capabol were he a millien year ago, that were but the infant age of formulaic eyeing, and simpoly standeth not up to present measure.  For the now generasien of young eyers, they play by no olde rule & sensibilitus.  They of the new eye will drill through to thy soul in a trice, and have thee launching acts of marriage towards them even as they laff and say thee nay, even as thou slappest the fool that is in thee, even as thou art slappt down by the husband which thou all ready hast.  For the young crew have been traind o seriosus, by physicists of eye control, to eye thee merciless.  From birth have they face’t off in extreme competings.  Their father and their mother have given unto them personal breeding; and have swaddld them in motivasiens, with brillient woven threads of praise and curse and threat; and have slickt their paths with fundings, and with optic gymnasia, and with the tutelage of vicious eyewaymen.

            Now, in respect of gazetteal fairness, I have spaken with those who say that the old ones casted more eye into’t; who say that those of antique orb can hold watery gaze longer again than ever might the youngers.  And those who say these things are those same old ones and their bunche.