Lite fare for the discerning post-election, pre-apocalypse reader, at bargain basement prices!  Get them now before they are pulped.

Anaximander, St. Thomas Aquinas and a Triceratops Walk into a Bar, Uban Yerkin.  Giddy expeditions into real foolosophy by a graduate of a two-year Catholic college just outside of Akron, O.  Short, easy-to-skim chapters with no technical terminology or dreary “explanations.”  This is the author who put the “lay” in laymen.

I, Robot, by Mrs. John McCain No. 2.  Eerie and disconcerting as-told-to book closely recounting life on the endless campaign trail by the Beer Baronness von PabstundtBudd, longtime victim of a rare disorder that prevents her from showing any discernible signs of life.

The Lively Bones, by Redd Skeleton.  A maudlin girly novel with pretensions to theological grandeur, 134 weeks on the best seller list and soon to be a major motion picture filmed in Outer Patagonia, directed by Oscar winner Thurman Kumquat and starring last year’s hottest romance players.

Esquimaux Thweetie-Pie, By Saran Impalin’.  Risky adventure yarn about Alaskan malamute lady with a speech impediment that elides all final “gs” and the horrendous problems this created for her in her attempt to escape the trailer park, corrupt the U.S. government and lead the life of Jane Sex-Pack.

Pilates for the Newly Dead, by Krishna Murphy.  How-to exercise manual detailing made-up scheme of exercises that hurt like hell, have no impact on weight, musculature or other physiological conditions but that allow you to buy lots of haute couteur gym-wear and hang out around hunky guys.  Comes with comic DVD of tired housewives struggling to do the routines.

In Your Face! By Ricky (Duck!) Cheney.  Hunting adventures by a nearsighted, flabby and uncoordinated ex-veep and the amusing anecdotes of frightening, wounding and conquering big macho guys who are too scared to shoot back at their companions.

Left in the Lurch, by Tim Iddity.  Goofy cult novel for people who believe the earth is flat and that Creationism is science, all about the Last Days, when we are revved up for the Rapture and the goodie-goodie guys get flown off somewhere, leaving hordes of happy and interesting sinners to swear, revel, debauch and do the peppermint twist.  Not for the faint of heart.

Let Them Eat Beer, Peanuts and Cocaine, by George W. Dubbush.  Confessional autobiography dictated by a self-taught dyslexic (misspellings, botched syntax and malapropisms highlighted in red), to explain the innumerable errors, failures, crimes and misdemeanors of the past eight years in Washington by The Decider at his most arrogant, incoherent and fatuous.  Not to be missed by those who appreciate undiluted idiocy.