The Journal of Provincial Thought
jptArchive Iss 13
lil diamond 1 Adworldluminancelil diamond 2Adworld Pigasus- JPT flying pig,Iss 13 Cognito Ergo Nix- WJ Schafer-Adworld
AdWorld: Monitoring Modern Malificent Media
By Skeeze McMultiplex
Such supreme classix of modern advertising as "Where's the Beef?," "Ajax, the Foaming Cleanser," "Pepsi-Cola Hits the Spot," Quick, Henry, The Flit," and "Who's a Little Whozit?" remind us that nothing succeeds like sheer bloody-minded annoyability in the ole Ad Game. You sell millions by burrowing stealthily under the customer's thick, alligator-like hide and over-stimulating his tiny reptilian brain. To illustrate, this highly irregular and essentially shapeless column will present prize examples of advertising at its most irritating and ineluctable. Comin' at ya!

Sample advertisement drawn from Laddy's Home Companion, June 2003.

Trouble with neighbors, family, total strangers getting in your face, dissing you or making you too often cry out, "My Bad"? Now Halcyon Health Products, a green corp, brings you at rock bottom prices peace of mind in a teeny bottle:

Blue bottle-essence of innocence: PEW! phial cologne&armpit wash You'll never stink again
But Wait! There's More!!!- 1
spray bottle- Instant Dammit "Blagh! Eek! Krap!" barrage of contumely, persiflage & outrage
But Wait! There's More!!! -2
Premium can of WHUP-ASS (open) sudden cure for meddlers,mugwumps,scalawags etc.
Only $18.95 + shipping- Act now &  save!!!

USE WITH CARE: Read all direction and follow faithfully. May create side effects such as bodily injuries, heart attacks, deafness (temporary and/or permanent), shingles, foot-rot. alopecia, rickets, ali-ali, scorseci, excessive weight gain and hypothermia.

jptArchive Iss 13
Copyright 2009- WJ Schafer & WC Smith - All Rights Reserved